via stone fox bride

This opinion piece bu Tim Kreider in the NYTimes, The 'Busy' trap, resonated with me crazy hard. I can relate not just to almost every point he hits on, but in most cases from each side. For example;

I recently wrote a friend to ask if he wanted to do something this week, and he answered that he didn’t have a lot of time but if something was going on to let him know and maybe he could ditch work for a few hours. I wanted to clarify that my question had not been a preliminary heads-up to some future invitation; this was the invitation.

Ouch. Especially when I was working nearly full time and studying architecture full time, I dished this out more than I care to recollect.  Now, as a gal who is regularly spending her mornings idly at the park with a baby and a cup of coffee, it hurts how often I receive it. Of course, this is kind of a forced down time. Were it not for Henry I would be editing photos, blogging, at a job full time, cleaning the kitchen counters, who knows. Point is this idle time leaves a LOT of things nagging at me to be done. But still. I am using it as an opportunity to shift my life more into what I would like it to be. Where I can make time for myself, my friends, my family, for nothing. Where it isn't even an issue of "making" time, but simply choosing that that is what our time is made up of, if that makes sense. Sure, we all have to make a living. But there is a balance, right? I have given a LOT of thought to this lately, like Kreider;

I did make a conscious decision, a long time ago, to choose time over money, since I’ve always understood that the best investment of my limited time on earth was to spend it with people I love.  

Cheers to that.

My coworker and I were talking a bit this morning about health, and supplements, and whole foods, and eating well and cancer, and this article....

And it has left me with a deep desire to recommit to feeding our family well. I am talking home cooked, whole foods, with fresh vegetables, nutritious grains and legumes, and little additives or processing. We already eat fairly well, but I think we could do better. And what better time, now that Henry is starting to eat solids. It has been really hard lately to find time to spend in the kitchen, so I am working on a game plan to help make it happen:

1) Weekly (thoughtful!) meal planning. I think this needs to happen on Mondays, because that is when we get our CSA produce box. We need to commit to sitting down and spending a good 20/30 minutes here, otherwise we just end up listing our easy go to meals, which usually involve at least one processed food item "crutch".

2) Choosing items that we can make in bulk and eat throughout the week, or even better- freeze for later use. This one worries me. When I first went back to work I went on a major kick of preparing food for the workweek (salads, a frittata) and I ended up in the kitchen for a huge part of Sunday. No good, when that is our only day off together. How to achieve without spending *too* much time?

3) Using our crockpot. I am totally new to this. I was turned off by the complicated recipes in the book we were given. Honestly, can't I just throw a bunch of stuff in there and hope for the best? Refining as I go? I am thinking yes. My idea is to chop veggies and soak beans the night before, then toss it all in in the morning before work. This seems like a no brainer.
4) Continue with our simple 2 step meal style. Step one: roast veggies. Step two: cook grains. I lied, there are four steps. Step three: combine in a bowl. Step four: Add sheep or goat feta. The downfall here is monotony. I think I just need to break out of the box with fresh herbs and different combinations of veggies and flavorings to keep it interesting.
With a bit of extra work and a lot of thought and commitment (plus restraint, from grabbing tacos too often), I think this is achievable. It will also cut back on the amount of waste we produce. (I am sickened at how full our recycling bin always is.) And I think, done correctly, we will save on our grocery bill, no?

This plan ties into a broader goal I have been mulling through, which can be boiled down to living life with a bit more intention. I know that is pretty broad, but I am still working through the idea myself. I will share more when I figure it out.

In the mean time, I would love to hear your tricks for simple and wholesome eating!
PS- photos by Abby, who is selling all her prints at 40% off through next Friday, before she closes up shop for good! I picked up this one!

Helloooooo!

You know how sometimes I come back from a trip and say "oddly I didn't take many photos"...? Well, not the case here folks. I went through four rolls of film. Not to mention a hefty stack of instax with Carinna. But I do need to develop and scan them. And then I will tell you all about the trip. (Don't worry, I will edit down the photos to just my favorites.)

In the mean time, catching up on google reader has me all excited for Christmas! You guys are starting to pull out all the stops. Trees and decorations are going up, ornaments are being bought, gifts wrapped! I can't wait to catch up! I am tempted to buy baby's first ornament. (I seem to have an unintentional lion theme started out for the nugget.)

So now. Getting ready for the holidays. Settling into a routine with the new work Cactus & Quail is bringing (!!!!!!) preparing for a new year (and baby!) and reflecting on the previous (29 things review!). Resuming some normal posting.... All that. And finally, how sweet was Celia's post yesterday. SO SWEET.

Thank you so, so much for all of your well wishes & sweet words during this huge week. You guys are the raddest, and totally blow my mind with your support.

And I want to give a huge thanks also to my rad buds for the all the Cactus & Quail love on the web:

A Practical Wedding
Various Projects
Peonies and Polaroids
Tending To It
Sweet Emilia Jane
Steady Happy
Lovely Morning

Talk about a big week. And it doesn't end yet.

Tomorrow morning we are packing up The Little Car- full of amazing groceries, my husband, some of my favorite girls, and heading out to the desert.

We will be staying 2 nights at this fan-freaking-tastic house outside of Joshua Tree. (I know.)

There will be Pappy & Harriets, there will be desert hikes and desert shopping, tofu sandwhiches from Crossroads, there will be Apples to Apples, and there will be the celebrating of turning 30 years old over a home cooked meal (with lots of cheeses, and a variety of beverages). Maybe even some quail spotting.



We won't be home until Monday evening, but be sure to check in anyways as I have arranged a sweet little guest post for that day.

Have a great weekend!!!!!!!!!!!

"Harry, I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange." - Special agent Dale Cooper

Did I not mention that we are expecting a baby? Next April? Must've slipped my mind....

Last week, on the day after the first day of Fall, I came home from work to find it was so chilly I had to close all the windows in the house. But I'm not ready for a closed house, not yet.

Within a few days, and after a notably cold summer, we were experiencing record breaking heat, I was at the beach and swimming in the Ocean.

Two nights ago when we slept we had two fans pointed right at us (we don't have ac) and I could manage only a thin sheet on me. The house was quite warm still.

Yesterday, suddenly, it rained and stormed. There was thunder (!) lightning (!!) and double rainbows (!!!). Not everyday occurrences around here.

Last night when I went to bed there were no fans, the duvet was back on the bed, and in order to fall asleep I even needed to pull a quilt down for more warmth. I haven't checked the weather for this weekend, and I have no idea what to expect.

Photos from yesterdays post storm afternoon walk.

"It is our birthday tomorrow!" Carinna exclaimed, by way of greeting on the phone the other week.

"Huh?" My birthday is in the winter, and while hers was coming up, it was at least a few weeks away.

Excitement not deterred, she pressed on, "Well you are leaving for Miami during my birthday, and while you are gone I will be leaving for Europe, so tomorrow is our birthday. We have to exchange gifts!"

Right. Last December, a few weeks before my birthday we went to a small local craft fair/trunk show at the Glashaus to support Britt, and look for Christmas gifts. What we found were study models made by local artist Matt Devine, mini versions of his beautiful, large installation work that he was selling as little affordable pieces of artwork. We had to have one. But, we were not supposed to be shopping for ourselves.

After much scheming and maybe too much giggling we worked out a complicated plan. We would each buy the other one as a birthday gift. Knowing that it would be impossible for me not to give Carinna another gift come her actual birthday, I would give her something that I made. And to even things out, she would also make me something for a gift, on her birthday.


Here are the little guys, hers on the right, mine on the left.


Come June, I made her the drawing on the right, and she made me the necklace on the left. It is two enamel discs that she found at a midcentury shop, they were some sort of deadstock samples. She also made herself one, since she loves matching. Guess I need to make myself a matching drawing? To top it off, we went to Arrivederci, which has been my birthday tradition for many years, and hers for the last two. I mentioned that she likes to match, right?

Today after work I am going with my friend (co worker, neighbor, former classmate, SOON TO BE DAD) Troy to check out the thesis presentation gallery at our school. Those kids are GRADUATING tomorrow. You know what that means? I graduated a year ago. Where did that year go, I ask? Anyways, here is another view of what I spent that year working on. The thesis (Living Systems; Complex Natural Systems as a Model for Architectural and Social Development) was all about systems and holism, the interdependency of the planet and all that. It was a study in using the principles that govern complex natural systems of nature* as a guiding model for architecture, by applying the principles to both architectural systems and the social living systems that the built environment supports. Mostly it was a great reason to make a lot of diagrams. (Okay, I also think it is a highly important pursuit.) More here, here, and here.

Hey look. There are some fine quotes in this presentation, in case you are interested:

"Not everything which can be counted counts, but there are many things that cannot be counted, which count." Frank Egler

"The great conceit of the industrial world is the belief that we are exempt from the laws that govern the rest of creation." David Orr

"The traditional Indian stood in the center of a circle and brought everything together in that circle. Today we stand at the end of a line and work our way along that line, discarding or avoiding everything on either side of us." Vine Deloria

I had been kind of dreading the year long project that was research as much as design, but when it came down to it, I loved the research. (and the diagrams.)

*nestedness, networks, feedback, emergence, mutualism, diversity, you know. Complexity and all that.

[Left foreground; high desert rocks]

[right foreground; DC gift for me and ben (a total one for me, one for you. I bought his companion, a great horned, for my friend whose birthday is a week after mine)]

[Background; fuji instant (I'm sold, btw, fuji instax 210 on my wishlist) taken of me and Ben the night of my birthday by Aimee]

I am pretty excited about turning 29 actually. Since I was in elementary school, 29 has been my lucky number, so there's that. Also? I'm just excited about life in general. I am finally done with school, I have started some sort of (albeit murky) career, and life is really about life now, you know what I mean? (mostly I mean it's not about school) Not to mention, this past year was pretty rough. A lot of hard things happened in our family and with our friends, and I know a really good year has to follow. Plus? I won't be working on a f*cking thesis. So, to help me focus on all the good things I hope to do this year, I took a page out of the ever inspiring Hula Seventy and wrote a list of 29 (oh how I love that number) things to do before I turn 30.


1.Take sister on a road trip (or fly to a really cool city)
2.Print/organize/archive photo collections
3.Go back to Yosemite, preferably with a group of friends
4.Register for ncarb
5.Start a drawing journal/sketchbook
6.Host Thanksgiving (with my mother in law's help)
7.Hike Cowles
8.Visit dad in Tokyo
9.Ice skate with sis
10.Start an exercise routine
11.Open an etsy shop
12.Engage in volunteer work
13.Watch Labyrinth with Lorenzo & Massimo
14.Find chocolate brown boots
15.Bake something
16.Take a textile course
17.Visit Scarlett in Portland
18.Use a laser cutter
19.Find a campground we like near San Diego
20.Learn and refine photoshop skills
21.Trick out my bike
22.Host a summer outdoor movie series
23.Finish cleaning the effing shed
24.Start a real adult serious savings
25.Finish the Buffy comic series
26.Work again in a woodshop
27.Take mom to hot springs
28.Branch out beyond the IPA (and the IIPA, and the Pale Ale)
29.Garden, with Ben

You guys are great. Thank you. So, I think I better turn my ill formed plan into a solid plan of action. I will start with the cheap, un-debatably healthy stuff like exercise, nature, rescue remedy, reading, sleep and me time. I will then move on to acupuncture [worth a try?] and if all else fails, therapy and chemistry. Don't judge, but I don't do yoga. I tried, and it just doesn't work for me.



Ok, so, I never tried that hard, but sill.

You guys would have been proud last night. After a nice dinner [at the table] and walking the dogs, I crawled in to bed hours before bedtime to read. Ben Left played dj. [His last name starts with a J, so when he does this, we call him DJ BJ.] Anyways, I enjoyed the nice, relaxing songs so much I started making a note of what he was playing. And made him help me remember back what he started with. Here is a little nice kind of mellow good for a wintery night play list.

I remember driving home from school one night, during the first quarter of school after I started studying architecture full time.

*let me make a note here that for anyone with any kind of dedication, architecture is kinda hard core on the demanding scale. The thing is, you are never done. You could always do more. 5 years is not enough time, and too much. Architecture students are pretty up there in the non sleeping student category.

I remember clearly the anxious, knotty feeling in my stomach that I was feeling because I had so much to do. All the tension in my neck and shoulders, causing a deep ache. The jittery buzz in my hands. I remember driving home thinking, "is this it? is this how I am going to feel from now on? for the next five years?"

I can remember it so clearly not only because it was a new experience for me [I don't think I had been a very stressed person before this] but because I am feeling it right now.

I am not in school, studio classes are behind me, my thesis is behind me. Literally, it is a Thursday afternoon. [I started writing this last week....] I left work early today, paused to write this from "doing things around the house" [I LOVE doing things around the house], and I am looking forward to a fun evening with my husband and friends. I have a 3 day weekend, with no tasks that *need* to be completed, no obligations or commitments. The bills are all paid, and the bank account is not empty. I am not thinking about work. Ben and I are healthy. We are happy. My animals are healthy. I rested well last night. I have no friends tottering on the edge of life, and my immediate family are well and free of crisis. And, yet.

When we left for Joshua Tree a few weekends ago, we were trying to get out of town early enough to beat traffic then make it up there and get ready for the rehearsal dinner at our rental a leisurely pace. Admittedly, it was a really busy week, and I had to hurry my ass off to be ready by 1pm, the time my best friend was meeting us at our place to hit the road. But I don't think that justified how stressed and irritated I was when she caused us to leave late. What the fuck was my problem. I could not calm down.

Ben feels it too. He will ask- what on earth is wrong with me. My only answer is, "I'm stressed", see above re: knots in stomach. But my old answers "I'm stressed about [money, school, family, take your pick]" aren't there. So, I don't have an answer.

Thing is, until recentely all of those issues have bombarded me. When discussing this with some friends, they brought up the phenomenon of peptide addiction or reaction. I *think* what this boils down to is; my body is so used to feeling stressed, that it just continues to operate that way.

So, I'm working slowly to combat this. I'm hoping awareness is the first step. Slowing down and being conscious of the tension in my body, asking why it is there, and reminding myself that it is not necessary, take many deep breaths or something.

Here are some more ideas I have;

-making sure I have enough down time [a difficult balance- I like being busy]
-getting exercise
-spending more in nature [perhaps while getting exercise, always gotta multi task]
-maybe accupunture? [I have never had!]
-eating well [ok, so this is just my answer for everything]

So, I know you are all crazy-busy-active-multi-tasking types. How do you deal with ongoing long term stress?

I love some of the stuff from please be still, [especially we are all connected.] and for a day to day motto, everything is going to be ok. But I knew it wasn't the right thing to say during my friend's critical phase of injury. I found myself at a loss for words of consolation. Rachel, in her infinite wisdom, suggested "We will get through this." Because, as she reminded me, there is very little we don't get through. One way or another. And, we do it together. I made this image as a reminder of this phrase, inspired by please be still, and Rachel!!!!

not to brag or anything, but [despite lack of swimming holes] the weekend was pretty awesome. 4 days, i have decided, are the only way to go.

though it did get to a rough start. friday morning when i expected to sleep in i was woken by ben at 5 am on his way out the door to work, to tell me the kitty had got his ass kicked in a brawl. he was pretty beat up, but barring the possibility of a particularly nasty little scratch getting infected he will be ok. the upside was i made a bed for the two of us on the couch, turned on the tv and found a rerun of angel showing the episode that aired right after the very last buffy episode. [there is crossover, and i had never watched angel] we both fell asleep. i have since taken joy in over nurturing him. yes.

then the weekend commenced with;

pool lounging with best friend
cleaning the house before ben was even home from work
making announcements for the birth of my friends son, ansel
finally dining at the station tavern, after 2 years of anticipation
late night beers with friends in the back yard
coffee and scones at my favorite coffee shop
making it to the mcasd mix exhibit just before it ended [where we saw a model of said tavern]
walking to a beach i have never before visited in la jolla, with water so clear i pretended i was swimming in the mediterranean
helping ben with the poster for his new band's first show!
doing some design work for a little upcoming project

sigh.

Daydreams

* Get a job at a rad arch firm in nyc. Move to a little home in Brooklyn, and have a baby. Because in nyc it is not weird [I assume] to live in a little place with a baby
* Become licensed pilots. Buy a seaplane. Move to a remote tropical island where it is our jobs to fly visitors on and off the island
* Score the highly coveted internship with this American life
* Run a b&b. pretty much anywhere. But, a really effing cute one that we design from head to toe
* Drag ben to providence. Get my masters from RISD
* Move somewhere that land is cheap. Have a barn in which we letterpress things. Also, a goat and a garden and fields where baby can run around in cloth diapers and we can build a teepee
* Sell everything. Move to [costa rica, france, Australia???] and just, get by
* Make graphics for metropolis magazine
* Move to the south, where there are swimming holes and pretty old buildings that cost less than one million dollars and it is actually hot in the summer
* Buy a bungalow in san diego. Somewhere we can walk to a favorite restaurant. Slowly transition into making pretty things like wedding invitations all day. Go to the beach while ben surfs and travel as much as possible to above referenced locations

{bride and her father}

Happy Wedding Day dearest Meg.  You have been such a wonderful wealth of inspiration and thoughtfulness to so many.  Wishing you and David a wonderful, joyous love filled day and celebration, and a lifelong marriage of the same.      xoxoxoxoxo

Scott Caligure

So, better late than never? Gradation was, of course, a whirlwind.  I should have known.   The friday before was a gallery exhibit of our thesis work. Afterward we went out for a late dinner. Then we all woke early and trekked to the Salk. Because of things beyond our control, neither my mom or my dad were able to come to the gradation.  Pretty crazy, but I was surrounded by many well loved non parental friends and family type.

 

me or ben?

bff's

This girl on the left? I have known her longest of all.  She was planning on coming down from Portland for the graduation weekend, but waited too long, and plane tickets got too expensive. 

Imagine my surprise when I am standing outside the packed gallery at my school, talking to the door guy [student volunteer] when I see her shining face hanging out of a beat up old volvo wagon not ten feet from me.  I looked and though, "oh, there's scarlett" then "no, scarlett is in portland" and so on and so forth until I thought, during the subsequent squealing and shreiking coming from both sides "what?!? did she hitchhike a ride down with some crazy hippie?" [she didn't...] turns out after our last phone convo she was especially bummed not to make it down.  we were both going so some pretty hard stuff, and she figured we needed this especially for it, so she surprised me! It was just too much.  [The one on the right, she is the equally devoted local bff]

Scott Caligure

My [partial] entourage.

Scott Caligure

Don't worry. Parents were represented. Ben Left's mom & my dad's girl.  [Think they planned their matching colors?]

Scott Caligure

Me & my sweetie.  [ps bangs+grad cap+ humidity=bad news]

Scott Caligure

headband in action.

Scott Caligure

sweetie snapping pics.

Me

the second friend who came all the way from Portland!

Ben Left

Sister, bored as per usual.  [really, can't blame her]

Scott Caligure

Scott Caligure

And of course, the architecture.  

Next, the party.

Home from my families home in the desert.  Letting life start moving forward again.  

This weekend brought much loss.  My little sister's dad passed away. It was not sudden, he has been terminally ill. There is so much to deal with, unfortunately even beyond the grief.  There are big changes happening with my family. I will be back when things slowly clear up. xo

[source]

So yeah. I expected to get home Sunday night and start full swing blogging by Monday morning. But real life has been, to say the least, intense and very difficult.  As evidence I show you an image of my unpacked bag sitting on our bedroom floor that I just took. Um, I'm the girl who unpacks the moment she gets home.  We got home Sunday. It's Wednesday.  Plus I think I am having weird anxiety about blogging after being away so long.  I'll get there. 

Photo by Scott Caligure

Well. I did it. It's done. I did a whole bunch of other things, too. And now am looking forward to a summer full of even fun-er things, and some projects up my sleeve that I have been scheming about and I look forward to sharing when the time is right.

For now though, Ben Left and I are checking out for a week. 4 nights camping near Yosemite, 2 nights in the bay area to visit our new baby niece. Er, we might also be seeing Wilco while we are there. Oops.

See you very soon!