This opinion piece bu Tim Kreider in the NYTimes, The 'Busy' trap, resonated with me crazy hard. I can relate not just to almost every point he hits on, but in most cases from each side. For example;
I recently wrote a friend to ask if he wanted to do something this week,
and he answered that he didn’t have a lot of time but if something was
going on to let him know and maybe he could ditch work for a few hours. I
wanted to clarify that my question had not been a preliminary heads-up
to some future invitation; this was the invitation.
Ouch. Especially when I was working nearly full time and studying architecture full time, I dished this out more than I care to recollect. Now, as a gal who is regularly spending her mornings idly at the park with a baby and a cup of coffee, it hurts how often I receive it. Of course, this is kind of a forced down time. Were it not for Henry I would be editing photos, blogging, at a job full time, cleaning the kitchen counters, who knows. Point is this idle time leaves a LOT of things nagging at me to be done. But still. I am using it as an opportunity to shift my life more into what I would like it to be. Where I can make time for myself, my friends, my family, for nothing. Where it isn't even an issue of "making" time, but simply choosing that that is what our time is made up of, if that makes sense. Sure, we all have to make a living. But there is a balance, right? I have given a LOT of thought to this lately, like Kreider;
I did make a conscious decision, a long time ago, to choose time over money, since I’ve always understood that the best investment of my limited time on earth was to spend it with people I love.
Cheers to that.
I did make a conscious decision, a long time ago, to choose time over money, since I’ve always understood that the best investment of my limited time on earth was to spend it with people I love.
Cheers to that.
That article really resonated with me as well, as I'm sure it did for many others. It's so easy to fall into that routine of going going going all the time. Now more than ever (since having kids and continuing to work full-time), I crave time to be still. I feel like I have to work so hard to fit everything in, and I beat myself up when I fail. I am getting ready to take time off of work, and I wonder if I will be any better at it. Here's hoping...
ReplyDeleteyeah! i noticed a lot of people shared it on facebook, and retweeted on twitter.
Deleteyep, i always say the one thing i really miss right now is being lazy!
good luck!!!!
I haven't read the article yet, but from your take-aways I think I'm going to like it. I was just discussing this very thing with a friend of mine.
ReplyDeleteI go through spurts of madness and I completely overwhelm myself and then I have to correct (usually when my hair starts falling out). I would love to find a balance that I can stick to. I think the main issue (with me at least) is the belief that we have to put our shoulder to the wheel and push if we are going to get anywhere. I don't know that it's true, but I sure do believe it when I have goals I want to accomplish.
Just read it. Thank you Jamie. Food for thought and a got some laughs in.
DeleteOh man, great article. Thank you for sharing. Gives me a little something to ponder.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great article, a couple of points didn't really mesh with me, but I do agree we are more likely to regret not enough time with loved ones more than not enough work.
ReplyDeleteI too became obsessed with this article, and like you have chosen a life that my priority is not about making money, but doing what I love, and making time for friends and family. More than I care to admit, repeatedly what I hear from friends near and far are they are too busy. Too busy to call to set aside time for a twenty minute phone call, or a cup of coffee. Bravo for you to write about it. I Often wonder how many people will regret the busy trap?
ReplyDeleteI remember that "random toddler walk," and the odd mix of frustration and peace it would bring.
ReplyDeletewow, that is tough to realize. good thoughts.
ReplyDeletesometimes busy for me means "I don't want to accomplish such and such", & sometimes it means, "I've slept five hours a night on a regular basis & I'm beat".....
but I do respect and LOVE your choice for time with loved ones before money. you will finish your life glad for that.
Love this. Great reminder, thanks.
ReplyDeleteyay! love this jamie! your post and that articleare both exactly what i needed to read. thank you. xo
ReplyDeleteFirst, I love Kreider. He has a new book of essays out that Im dying to read. This particular piece of his really resonated with me too. I sometimes feel guilty about how unscheduled I try to keep my family. Not that I'm so great at the living-in-the-moment thing, I just hate the feeling of being too busy and I think my kids do too. We still have too much on our plates if you ask me. Kudos to for making it a priority to have idle time with your family (and yourself). That's what life's all about, if you ask me. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThis was everything I've been feeling lately, and then some. Some things matter, some things don't. We need to stop ignoring that there is a significant difference between these two notions. We need to enthusiastically embrace the divide between them—and make sure we're on the right side.
ReplyDeleteJust catching up here and so glad you read it, too. I emailed it to everyone in my family and said MUST READ THIS AND DISCUSS. Funnily, it's us, the internet generation, who struggle with it more than, say, my parents (in their early 60s).
ReplyDeleteVery beautiful blog, I hope you may continue to keep in posting new posts & thank you for sharing your great experience among us.
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