{a letter to henry}

08.08.2011-08.09.2011

Hello my little man,

I should say hello BIG guy. You are such a big guy! Born long and lean and not *too* big, we figured you were getting height from your mama & grandpa. Most of your newborn clothes were too wide! But before we even left the hospital you regained your birth weight, then steadily grew, almost a pound a week! Now here you are, just about 3 and a half months; you are more than double your 7+ pounds that you were born at, and you are wearing 6 month clothes! I wish I could see a newborn you lying next to you right now for a side by side.

Though you have filled out, you are still pretty tall. A lot of your pants are high waters. You were born with very long fingers, and very long toes. Your head, it seems, is perfectly round (and bald, of course). Everyone comments on it. "What a perfect little round head he has!" People also like to comment on how much you look like your papa. Which is fine with me, I think he is a pretty handsome guy.

It has been a big couple of weeks. Yesterday you;

-were the furthest you have been from home (Vista. Though you are already an international traveler. Go ahead and ask your dad about the time he and your grandma Karen accidentally drove you to Mexico.)

-for the longest length of time (just a day)

-met a horse for the first time (you didn't seem entirely impressed)

-went to your first brewery (Stone. Will you love good beer like you mama and your papa and you grandpa?)

-and biggest of all, had your first pool day

We think you really love the water (just like us, yay!). Bath time is your best time. And when we break out the kiddie pool you kick & splash like it is your job. Our first 2 attempts at a big kid pool both ended in tears. Literally. But yesterday we went swimming with your uncle Mike and you had a great time. You even- get this- got on a surf board for the first time. (it was a single fin, I think.) I know your papa can't wait until you are a little older next year, we will get you into a pair of Birdwell's and sit you on a surfboard in the actual ocean.

Last week? You rolled over for the first time. Back to front, no joke. Your grandma Karen was visiting and got to witness the action. You have rolled over at least once a day since then. The problem is? You don't really like being on your belly. So you get there, and then you get mad. No one to blame but yourself, buddy. Your father claims that the day after the first roll you also rolled front to back. But it hasn't happened since. So, I'll believe it when I see it.

You have, since you were born, made excellent eye contact and studied the world around you with great concern. You were trying very hard to figure it all out. When I sit you up from nursing or napping you look all around to see that the room and all of its contents are still there. You insist on being held upright, facing out, able to see all the action. (I don't think we have "cradled" you in our arms since you were under a month, unless we are rocking you to sleep.) When we go for a walk, or sit outside, or eat at a restaurant, you are not to be bothered with talking to us. You are way too busy taking everything in. Studying.

You are a very serious baby. Your facial expressions are hilarious; you mastered immediately the incredulous one raised brow (one of my personal favorites), the studious furrowed brow, and just like your mama and grandpa, a very wrinkly forehead when you open both eyes wide.

The best time to interact with you is when you lay down on the bed, or on your blanket on the ground. There you will focus on us, instead of getting distracted by the whole wide world that is so new to you. You will smile and coo and listen to us talk, and talk back. You will listen as we read to you, and look at the pictures with great intent. Sometimes we just like to lie on the bed next to you, and let you study our faces with your little hands....
You have gotten very chatty in the last week or so. So different from the tiny baby of a couple months ago, who made only a few (very very sweet sounds) that I can barely just remember; a contented sigh after eating, a groan in your sleep, a grunt when you kicked. There is one little sigh you still make, that I always want to remember. Usually it is when you are half asleep, nursing. You will take a few drinks, and then breathe out the softest little sighs in between breaths in. They are so endearing.
When you were 4 weeks old, you smiled for the first time. You also shed your first real tear. That is so often the way life goes, sweet baby. The happy and the sad, the good and the bad coinciding. You have yet to laugh, and it is driving me crazy. Are we not funny enough for you? I happen to think your papa is hilarious. Sometimes you let out kind of a single breath/syllable chuckle. But it might just be more of a well times grunt.
You are incredibly active for an immobile being. One of your favorite activities is to be held in front of a mirror where you proceed to kick and wave your arms about. Or, your papa will hold you so that your feet touch the dresser and you "jump" in his arms. You love it. Sometimes it looks a lot like you are trying to run away, when you perfectly alternate your kicks. Where is it you want to go? We wonder. Is it really so bad here? I suspect we are in for a handful once you get going.
You used to be more still. When we would nurse, you would lay peacefully in my arms, your hands laying gently folded across your chest. Now those hands are in motion, playing with my shirt, gripping my hand. You eat a little, then turn out to smile at me, then go back to eating in a shy little game. When did you become such a big guy? To play games when he is supposed to be eating!

For such an active guy, you love being swaddled! As you tire and begin to complain a little, we need only tightly wrap you up and you are instantly soothed. When you wake up from a nap and we free your arms from the binding hold of the swaddle, your arms shoot straight up in a stretch. It is hilarious.
We love you more than you can ever know. You are the most amazing person in the world, and getting to know you a little better every day is just the coolest thing we could ever ask for. Sometimes we start looking forward to what's to come; a time when you don’t hate your car seat and we can drive places with you, when you start walking and playing and running, when you can talk to us.... but for the most part I am trying to stay present with you here and now. Because baby, you are growing and changing so fast I can't even believe it. And I don't want to miss a second of it.
I love you.
Mama

Update

08.11.201

You had a doctors visit today. In 16 weeks you have grown 4 3/4" taller (!) and more than doubled your weight. And your head is more than 3 inches bigger around.

More importantly, YOU LAUGHED. Ok, it was still kind of that throaty grunty chuckle. But. We were both there on the bed and you were playing your little peekaboo/boob game, and every time you would come of the nipple you would grin up at me and then chuckle in response to my response.

And your papa and I both agree, it qualifies.

You laughed.

(I cried.)

{after 3 or so years of blogging, I can't seem to correct the issue when my text goes all wonky- IE extra spaces between paragraphs, random text sizes. sigh.}