the first place i dreamed of having our wedding was figuora mountain farm house. this is like seeing it realized. and, this is just what our set up looked like, but, you know, in the desert.

life according to celia, via esb photo by cathryn farnsworth

I've long been a fan of the Grand Opening's storefront projects. One car drive in? Single table Ping Pong parlourp? They know the good things in life, and redefine their scale. So when I heard their space would next be a wedding chapel, well, I was excited to see what would happen next. Pretty rad. Via New York Wedding Guide.

via

How is it possible that Fantastic Mr. Fox fell so far off my radar that I had forgotten it completely. That when Peonies mentioned it, I didn't realize what she was talking about until a couple of days later when it clicked. The Fantastic Mr. Fox. Wes Anderson. F* Yeah!

I hadn't even seen a preview for it and it comes out in 8 DAYS.

A few weekends ago I finally got to see my oldest best friend perform with her marching band, MarchFourth. She is a wonderfully entertaining and talented and so cute stilt-walker /dancer /extraordinaire. [that's her pretty much center in the back, above the people not on stilts, lower than those on.] They were fantastic. See more pictures from their rad Shangri-La photo shoot.

Because of his bad fighting habits, Manny got an icky abscess last week, and had to have a little surgery. Our friends cat very recently, for the same reason, had the same.

See below for the communications that resulted. [warning, it is ridiculous]

hi man ray! cow here. we haven't officially met but my mom really likes you so i guess you must be pretty cool. well, i just wanted to tell you i know it sux to have a hole in your head and have to wear that lame-ass satellite dish but soon it will be over & you'll get to be a scrappy hell-raiser again. i'm jealous you get to wear a tube, too, that's pretty tuff. just let your mom give you medicine because she really cares. oh and milk it for all it's worth buddy, it's ALL about you right now so go with it!

peace out brother,
cow

cow. dude. you need to talk to your doc about that f*cking lampshade around your neck. seriously. i may look like an anne geddes flower baby, but this shit is pliable. can you even sleep in that thing?

there is a hole in my head??? i didn't even notice. that must be why no one is letting me outside. i have been yelling at them non stop, morning noon and night. i think i almost lost my voice. but they haven't cracked. all day, i watch those dogs go in and out, and i'm stuck. do you know that they gave me a box to shit in? can you believe that? who would do that? a box? i don't see them shitting in a box.

well. see you around the 'hood. if i ever get outta here, that is.

manray

In the continuation of cleaning out the "guest" room, no it's still not done, I have had to make some hard decisions about tossing some of my school projects. Only a few things made the keep cut. This is one of my favorite things I made in school. It's kind of a conceptual, almost 3d diagram attempting to communicate the function of the thesis project I designed. [That would be the uh, integrated holistic nature of social, architectural, and natural systems...]

The background grid is the site of the project [rotated to be axonometric], under a very thick layer of acrylic. Like, 1/2 an inch. Sucker is heavy. The top is various layers cut into museum board. [Medium of my choice.] The detail on the right is one of my favorites, showing the importance of a community space. See the heart? That is for community.

You guys are great. Thank you. So, I think I better turn my ill formed plan into a solid plan of action. I will start with the cheap, un-debatably healthy stuff like exercise, nature, rescue remedy, reading, sleep and me time. I will then move on to acupuncture [worth a try?] and if all else fails, therapy and chemistry. Don't judge, but I don't do yoga. I tried, and it just doesn't work for me.



Ok, so, I never tried that hard, but sill.

You guys would have been proud last night. After a nice dinner [at the table] and walking the dogs, I crawled in to bed hours before bedtime to read. Ben Left played dj. [His last name starts with a J, so when he does this, we call him DJ BJ.] Anyways, I enjoyed the nice, relaxing songs so much I started making a note of what he was playing. And made him help me remember back what he started with. Here is a little nice kind of mellow good for a wintery night play list.

hidden landscapes.

I remember driving home from school one night, during the first quarter of school after I started studying architecture full time.

*let me make a note here that for anyone with any kind of dedication, architecture is kinda hard core on the demanding scale. The thing is, you are never done. You could always do more. 5 years is not enough time, and too much. Architecture students are pretty up there in the non sleeping student category.

I remember clearly the anxious, knotty feeling in my stomach that I was feeling because I had so much to do. All the tension in my neck and shoulders, causing a deep ache. The jittery buzz in my hands. I remember driving home thinking, "is this it? is this how I am going to feel from now on? for the next five years?"

I can remember it so clearly not only because it was a new experience for me [I don't think I had been a very stressed person before this] but because I am feeling it right now.

I am not in school, studio classes are behind me, my thesis is behind me. Literally, it is a Thursday afternoon. [I started writing this last week....] I left work early today, paused to write this from "doing things around the house" [I LOVE doing things around the house], and I am looking forward to a fun evening with my husband and friends. I have a 3 day weekend, with no tasks that *need* to be completed, no obligations or commitments. The bills are all paid, and the bank account is not empty. I am not thinking about work. Ben and I are healthy. We are happy. My animals are healthy. I rested well last night. I have no friends tottering on the edge of life, and my immediate family are well and free of crisis. And, yet.

When we left for Joshua Tree a few weekends ago, we were trying to get out of town early enough to beat traffic then make it up there and get ready for the rehearsal dinner at our rental a leisurely pace. Admittedly, it was a really busy week, and I had to hurry my ass off to be ready by 1pm, the time my best friend was meeting us at our place to hit the road. But I don't think that justified how stressed and irritated I was when she caused us to leave late. What the fuck was my problem. I could not calm down.

Ben feels it too. He will ask- what on earth is wrong with me. My only answer is, "I'm stressed", see above re: knots in stomach. But my old answers "I'm stressed about [money, school, family, take your pick]" aren't there. So, I don't have an answer.

Thing is, until recentely all of those issues have bombarded me. When discussing this with some friends, they brought up the phenomenon of peptide addiction or reaction. I *think* what this boils down to is; my body is so used to feeling stressed, that it just continues to operate that way.

So, I'm working slowly to combat this. I'm hoping awareness is the first step. Slowing down and being conscious of the tension in my body, asking why it is there, and reminding myself that it is not necessary, take many deep breaths or something.

Here are some more ideas I have;

-making sure I have enough down time [a difficult balance- I like being busy]
-getting exercise
-spending more in nature [perhaps while getting exercise, always gotta multi task]
-maybe accupunture? [I have never had!]
-eating well [ok, so this is just my answer for everything]

So, I know you are all crazy-busy-active-multi-tasking types. How do you deal with ongoing long term stress?

I just ran across this polaroid going through paperwork. I think it was taken the night Ben met Emmy Lou. This was before me.

I love the story; Ben was grieving the loss of his alley cat, Lou*, who had died recently. He came home from the bar one night, slightly, um, intoxicated, to discover two pit-mix puppies in his living room. "That one is yours." said his roommate, pointing to the little girl puppy who looked like a piglet with a black eye.

A friend of theirs had found the two puppies on the side of the freeway, their mother had been hit by a car and killed. I am not sure if his friends knew this at the time, but Ben, who had been bit in the face by a dog as a child, had always been afraid of dogs. Emmy Lou cured him of this. She is by far the sweetest dog I have ever met. I wish I knew her when she looked like a piglet. [But I'm glad I didn't know her when she did things like chew up couches]

*Ben claims that Emmy is named after Emmy Lou Harris only, and in no way was he paying homage to his recently lost friend Lou. I don't believe him, I mean; Lou and Emmy Lou? I guess it was subconscious.

Update.

The chair has since moved to our bedroom. Who knows what will happen when we find a dresser, but big things are in store, and the red def won't fly then.

While photographing the chair, the cat kept vying for my attention. A photoshoot subsequently followed.

yes. please. aesa at una.

and aesa at home.

Carinna and I managed to break away from the wedding activities and the awesome home we rented for a brief but fruitful shopping excursion. I found the medium sized pot above, for five bucks. Just in time, too as I had recently purchased the other two, and was finding that they really need to be clumped in groups of three. So, now they are. But until we have a new dresser for them to sit on, they are homelessly floating around the house.

Ben stayed behind to play guitar and enjoy the view, but I had his back. He had been looking for a hat like the one Jeff Tweedy wears in Ashes of American Flags. Or rather, I had been looking for him. [I used to, um, work in the hat business.] We hadn't had much luck. Then, I found this vintage Stetson, in his size. I actually agonized over whether or not to buy it. He is terribly finicky, and I was worried the brim would be too long. So, I bought it, but when we walked in the door of our house, I pretended it was a purchase for myself. He had been napping, and was groggy when we arrived. It took about 15 minutes before he finally asked, "why isn't that hat for me?"

he likes it.

Best? We found a pair of butterfly chairs. 75 bucks each. Carinna and I each kept one. They do need some love. [Sand and spray paint or powder coat???] Also, it never crossed my mind that I would keep the red cover. I knew Circa50 made stand up replacement covers, and immediately set my hopes on a leather one, to get cracking on that whole earthy thing. Yikes. To my dissapointment, the leather is not in the budget. I considered going with a neutral canvas, but I am hesitant to spend money on something that is such a comprimise. To my surpirse, I don't mind the red in our living room as much as I thought I would. Maybe it can stay until we squirl away enough for a leather cover? Also, I'm not sure if I like how much room it takes up in the living room. Hm.

And of course, this one has gotten the most out of the new chair.

We also had excursion of the non retail variety, resulting in rocks and sticks. These are also homeless right now.... Where to put rocks?

Lily found a QUAIL. A QUAIL. Ok so, her dog found it, and turned it over unharmed. But look at how friendly and peaceful it looks? I love quails, people. I used to watch the mommy quails run through my grandmother's desert yard, with a trail of mini quail babys running behind her.

It must be so f*ing cool to live in joshua tree.

I love some of the stuff from please be still, [especially we are all connected.] and for a day to day motto, everything is going to be ok. But I knew it wasn't the right thing to say during my friend's critical phase of injury. I found myself at a loss for words of consolation. Rachel, in her infinite wisdom, suggested "We will get through this." Because, as she reminded me, there is very little we don't get through. One way or another. And, we do it together. I made this image as a reminder of this phrase, inspired by please be still, and Rachel!!!!

Heartbreakingly well curated. Maryam Nassir Zadeh.

Let me tell you a few things.

1. I have been scouring San Diego for a new bedroom dresser. I check things like craigslist and local ebay OBSESSIVELY. For a while now.

2. I saw this yesterday, and I. Love. It.

3. It is much, much better in person. I couln't capture it with my camera phone, but the detailing is to die for. The drawers and corners are all fitted to be flush. The handles are rad. It has all handmade and dovetailed connections.

4. I love it.

5. It is about 3-400 dollars more than I was hoping to spend.

6. cry.

I am so excited. Ben Left has a new band, Little Fowl. And Thursday Night is their first show! At Bar Pink, walking distance from our house. Though, not if your carrying amps and stuff.

This was a little collaboration. He wanted a flyer [mostly to hang at work] so he made a drawing, [yes, we are both obsessed with the desert] and I splashed in some color in the computer for him.

I'm off to the desert again today. This time it's the Nevada desert, to visit my mom and sister. I was on the fence about if I should watch Wild Things out there; with them. Or, wait until I get home on Sunday and watch it with Ben, who is staying behind.

I was on the fence until I discussed it with my sister. My sister, who is the very picture of teenage indifference, displayed more excited emotion that I can honestly remember. [Literally, I was trying to think of a funny "since she....{insert something really cool and exciting here}"...but I couldn't think of one]

So, I will see it tonight or tomorrow with my sister and mom.

Ben Left is a little ticked. I said I would go again on Sunday, but he says its not as fun if I'm not seeing it for the first time too. He is threatening to go alone, but I don't think he really will.

friends. music.

desert. wedding. friends.

desert. friends. rewearing of wedding outfits.

desert. friends.

desert. insanely inspiring and luxurious [and simultaneously sustainable] architecture.

desert. architecture. husband.

it was a really, really* good weekend.

*because of his sudden and RAD progress, dorian is moving out of the ICU and into a rehab center. thanks for the good thoughts.