a desert fete

I was searching through old sent emails from my work account the other day when I found this. It is a letter I wrote to my best friend. It is about my dress. It is kind of hilarious. I am going to post it as is, no editing, [excuse typos, I wrote it in a hurry at work, ha!] [ok, stuff in parentheses i am adding for clarification]

So I was in bed thinking about the dress situation. If I were getting married at the Wonderbread factory, or in Morley Filed/The photo studio, or somewhere that was, greener, like a foresty or fieldy type place, then it would have to be the YSL dress. [one i did not buy] No contest. Actually, I probably never would have bought the laundry dress, and Harry [tailor extraordinare] would already be working on my dress.

And yet; why does this one seem so perfect the Joshua tree wedding? It makes me feel like a crisp white dress is almost inappropriate.

Anyways. I’m ok with that part. But still I can’t get the ysl dress out of my head. It’s like: you are going to an amazing restaurant and you are only hungry for one thing, and there is this appetizer that is like, whatever you happen to be craving and its enough to fill you so you want to order it, but then there is this entrée, which, cause it’s a fancy restaurant it is more expensive than the appetizer but not any bigger, and the entrée isn’t exactly what you are craving but it still sounds really good, and how could you come to this restaurant and not get the entrée ?

so then I imagined its my wedding day. And after all this deliberation and anticipation I am doing my hair and make up and getting dressed for my wedding. And I imagine wearing the laundry dress. And I think I will love it. I will really like how I look, I will feel comfortable, I will love the pictures. I will, generally, love the dress. But will it feel like I’m putting on the glass slipper of dresses? So then I imagine the ysl dress. Again, comfortable, happy, love… but a little less, fitting. But a little more glass slipper. Cause it’s a 1200 silk ysl dress that I would other wise never get to wear.

I finally get to wear it- kind of thing.
The anticipation living up to the moment. So then I imagine the laundry dress is actually a 1500 stella mcartney dress. Not too much of a stretch. Lets pretend it has nicer fabric. Then, I get that glass slipper dress feeling, right? So is it just a placebo thing? My dress doesn’t feel special enough because it only cost 300 dollars and I could wear it to the rehearsal dinner? I don’t know.

Maybe I don’t need that glass slipper thing. I mean, buying into that, really, is buying into the commercialism of weddings. It really is. I love that laundry dress. Its perfect for JT [joshua tree], and the pics will look great. There might be a twinge of loss felt when I put it on, knowing its not the nicest dress I am ever going to wear, but maybe that’s not that big of a deal, right? I think I need to go home and try it on. I always feel better when I try it on.

wow. I forgot how bent out of shape this whole thing got me. This is what brides are reduced to? Everylast thing- the flowers, the hair, the dress, the boutonnieres, the center peices. Do they all need to feel like the most perfect wonderful special thing possible? Really? I don't think so......

image from here