It's that time of year when I am loathing my hair and seriously considering chopping it all off, again. I know, I know. A few of you are going to say, but it has been looking so cute lately! And I would agree with you, it has.
At least sometimes. Other times, my hair looks like that of a semi balding 80 year old crazy cat lady.*
The truth is, I was such a tomboy, er, bohemian, in my formative years that I never learned proper grooming skills like styling my hair (and applying eyeliner, and shaping my eyebrows....). And so when my hair looks good, it's mostly luck. Not to mention my hair pretty much changed from mostly not curly to mostly curly as a young adult. I can often recreate the circumstances that yield good results (IE If I wash my hair before bed and don't take a morning shower it will look better than if I try and style it after a shower in the morning). But this is risky, and has me leaving the house feeling poorly about my looks far too often.
I keep trying new stylists, hoping one of them will give me "the cut" that works great with my hair. I try and explain my handicap and ask for help in learning to manage it at home, but thus far I remain challenged. When my hair is short, I see photos of it long where it looks good and I want to grow it out. What the photo does not show is the 300 days out of the year where my hair does not look so good. (Why would I keep that photo around?)
And so, I am torn. The pixie cut is so straightforward and pretty much always looks good. But I am such a tomboy in my dress it is nice to have a little more length up top, and when my curls DO work for me (the exception, not the rule), it can be fucking fantastic.
Any advice? Have you been able to learn later in life how to tame your locks? What helped?
*Ben Left posted the most AWFUL photo of me to instagram. I immediately asked him politely to delete it. He didn't. Isn't it funny how we see ourselves so differently than others? Anyways, I WAS going to actually link to it so you could see what I am talking about, but it seems that sometime in the last week he felt bad and deleted it, after all.
Photo of Jean Seaburg, of course.
I think you know that my volume/bedhead secret is to wash before bed. Immediately before bed.
ReplyDeleteMy goal is always to *un*tame.
maybe i will hold to my bedtime routine STRICTLY for a week to see how consistent the results are, before i do anything rash.
DeleteHair, darling, is so important. I spent the majority of my adolescent and early adult life trying to figure out what the HELL to do with mine. The thing is, no one looks good all of the time. I don't think there is a "magic cut" that will require zero maintenance. All haircuts require SOMETHING of you. Time, product, skill. I have realized over time that I just have to go with what my hair naturally DOES. Especially in the summer when it isn't worth fighting. And while I really like your hair in that cute pic of you and H, I think you should go short and pixie if that's what you feel best with.
ReplyDeletesilly, i know no one loves their hair ALL the time, but i don't think i am hitting the right ratio.
Deletesigh. if my hair looked like that MOST days. :/
I'm 24 and one thing I'm sure that I know -unlike Socrates- IT NEVER HELPS TO HAVE PIXIE.
ReplyDeleteYou can buy 4 big hair rolls to sleep with, your hair will look wavy -not curly-
or you can make a bun in the most desperate moment:)
I second the wash before bed. I wash and brush it before bed and I don't brush it again in the morning. Also, I am not a morning person and this lets me stay in bed longer...
ReplyDeleteI have nothing. I have no hair tricks, either. My stylist and I have great conversations where I attempt to make him understand that. He'll tell me "Oh, you just use your straightening iron" and I'll say "I don't have one" and then he'll say "No problem, a curling iron works" and I'll say "I don't have that either" and then he'll tentatively ask if I at least have hot rollers or a round hairbrush (no and no). He is at least relieved that I own a blow dryer, even though I did throw the diffuser away on accident.
ReplyDeleteI like your hair both ways, but obvs don't have to deal with it on days when it's bugging you, so you're the only one who can judge. Can you ask your stylist about products that might make it easier? Apparently lots of hair outcomes are dependent on a product or two.
I'm considering cutting (although not pixie) but shying away because I want messy and my hair only does neat. I think products may need to get involved.
I can't speak much towards the pixie (the shortest i've had mine since I was born is halfway down my back) but the pixie looks GREAT on you, and length requires maintenance... right?
ReplyDeleteI'm with Naurnie on work with what you've got & what makes you feel good.
But if I could recommend ONE product? It took 20 something years & as many failed products to find bumble & bumble's "texture" that turned my pin-straight flat hair into the surfer girl waves of my dreams with absolutely no maintenance.
the last 3 years in a row my hair has chronicled thusly: 'growing' it out, dye it blonde around September/October. Dye it back dark a month later, get it to almost an acceptable length/hair style and then Waazaaam- chop it all off super Mia Farrow short in February. Every year without fail. just happens, as much as I swoon and wax romantic over long hair or cute heidi braids, I dunno if it'll ever happen. short hairrzz 4evahhhh.
ReplyDeletePlus it feels absolutely Amaaaazing right after you get your hair cut super short, you feel like such a bad ass. And then the next day when your hair is all goofy you can just put on some shades and channel Lou Reed
DeleteI think it is kind of in an awkward, in between length that, no matter your hair skills will look meh on a regular basis. Amazing sometimes, but often meh. Push through, get a little more length and see how it goes, you can always cut it all off later. Hairromance.com has some good tips on growing it out and pinning it back when its bugging you.
ReplyDeleteI love a short pixie cut. It's just a lot more work than it looks. And it needs to be cut often to maintain the shape. If you're up for the upkeep, go for it. It would look great on you!
ReplyDeleteI'm seriously not just trying to plug my blog but this is a big coincidence- I'm a hairdresser myself and just last night I posted some tips on how to get what you want at the salon...can't hurt to check it out, maybe you can get something out of it that'll help. Also for what it's worth I myself have shortshort hair that I just had cut after growing it to about your current length and getting sick of it, and it's majorly low maintenance. Good luck! Love your blog.
ReplyDeletefunny reading all these comments, and I just have to add, that having someone who has the same hair as you, cut your hair, is very helpful. No matter how good they are, if you have curls, find someone who has curly hair to cut it. I don't know you or your hair, but I have sometimes wavy-curly frizzy hair, and I find that most of the time, unless I put effort into it, it looks like, well, a crazy cat lady as you said. Try finding someone who understands curl if you choose to leave it on the longer side. BUT, all that being said, if I thought I had the face for a pixie, I would cut my hair in two minutes.
ReplyDeleteThe last time my hair was super-short was 2007; it's taken me *this long* to grow it out. And now I want that Jean Seberg pixie cut. Gee, thanks. ;) I LOVE your soft natural curls; my hair is baby-fine, stick-straight, no wave, no volume; it doesn't hold a curl. I gotta try ESB's trick for bedhead. And that Bumble & Bumble texture stuff H.H. recommended. Thanks for the hair help, y'all! xo.
ReplyDeleteI had shoulder length to long curly red hair for my entire life until last November when I spontaneously got a pixie cut. I am NEVER GOING BACK. I am so mad that I spent so much time and effort on my hair in the past (with mediocre results, mind you) and that I didn't just get the pixie years ago.
ReplyDeleteJust keep in mind that there are still tons of things you can do with a pixie if you get bored - I'm trying out the "shorter on the sides longer on top" thing now. Also keep in mind that your hair will start to look a little wacky as it grows out so you will feel like you need a haircut every few weeks. But it's SO WORTH IT.
I have curls and have tried every length from pixie to mid-back and here is what works (for me). Find a stylist who specializes in curls and hopefully has curls herself - they get it in an innate way that can't be taught. Short cuts are cute, but I always thought they were MORE maintenance, not less. Too many trims needed to keep the curls just right to get the look you want and if it's a bad day there are fewer ways to mask that. I think that hair that is just long enough to pull back without clips or pins is perfect for curly hair. The length adds weight to the curls which stretches them out and makes them softer and more manageable and when you need to you have a gazillion cute ways you can style with very little skill.
ReplyDeleteThe biggest thing that works for me, after the right cut, is to not wash it. Ever. Ok, ever is a stretch, but I only wash my hair 1-2 times a week. After work outs I rinse and condition, but don't wash. Product build up is your friend when you have curls. You can always tell when I wash my hair because those are the days it's down, and maybe the day after if bedhead has been kind. Then it's cute updos until I wash again.
Good luck, whatever you decide. If you find yourself in LA and wanting a cut, I have a great curly haired recommendation. She's pricey, but 100% worth it. Her cuts are so good that I only need to go 3 times a year, 4 if I'm feeling flush.
oh man. you know I'm going to say I love your hair how it is right now. but that aside, I FEEL you. I've never been able to find a hair style that makes me feel polished. I'm like you - I just don't know how to blow dry and curl and primp. I'm convinced that's just how it's going to be. and combined with all the post partum hair loss I exp, it's fine fine fine, and not the good-lookin' fine. it's ridiculously long right now, in part because I just don't know what to do with it and because I haven't found a stylist in Bend.
ReplyDeleteI like the comment about finding someone with similar hair to you to cut your hair - or find someone who really knows hair styles and faces. my stylist in Portland refused to let me chop my hair off, even when I begged her at 9 mos pregnant, but I'm thankful now!
good luck lady - and at least you've got a pretty face. you'll look smashing now matter how you style it. ;)
I understand how you feel. I too have been loathing my hair as of late-a few days ago, I nearly took a pair of kitchen scissors to my head in a moment of desperation (I am relieved that I thought better of that notion and simply grabbed a rubber band).
ReplyDeleteNaturally I am blaming the country of Australia for my bad hair. Funny how geographic locations can change your doo -hey?! My skin has also been tragic since we arrived-again it is Australia's fault.
Anyways, I think you are a stunning lady no matter what.
I understand how you feel - I went through the back and forth of having it short, then growing it out, then having it short and finally just decided to cut it and haven't looked back. It was actually probably seeing Breathless that just made me commit to it! (That and the fact that 1) when it was long I always just pulled it back and 2) I was repeatedly told my face was too small for longer hair).
ReplyDeleteSo for now, I have short short hair and no plans in site to ever change it. I typically end up in shorts/jeans and a plain shirt though - especially when its hot here - so I share the same feelings about wanting to have some femininity thrown in. When I think about it I try to do that with jewelry (although I really just like minimal here) or eyeliner - Jean Seberg style - and more recently - skirts (this one takes work) with my tees.
Maybe you could try to master the bold, black eyeliner? Either way - you always look great to me!
I got to Cassie (her son is the sweet, sweet Isaiah) and she's amazing. She's in University Heights, right by the sign. I can't recommend her enough. And she's all about low to no maintenance cuts.
ReplyDelete*go to Cassie (not got)
DeleteI often have this dilemma. The idea of long amazing hair sounds so wonderful, but it just never happens on my head. I cut my hair very short 12 years ago. Only once did I try to grow it back out...and I slowly began to cut it shorter and shorter after a year or so. But the lesson I learned for me is...I don't like fixing my hair. When it's fine and thin, it takes a lot of work I either never learned or not willing to do every morning.
ReplyDeleteJust this spring I went short, like pixie short. The first thing I said was. I feel like ME again! I would do what you are comfortable with. What makes you feel like YOU? (no matter what others might be thinking of your appearance) I do love the curls you have going on. Like the photo you linked, that looks so easy and wonderfully playful on you!
I had a pixie for years inspired by Ms. Seberg, then I grew it long with bangs then chopped it to a bob with bangs when I was pregnant last year. After having my baby I took advantage of not getting out much by not touching my hair for like 10 months. Now Ive finally grown out those damn bangs and actually have hair I can wash and airdry to a nice natural wavy curly thing at the ends. I say push pass the urge to cut and keep growing it :)
ReplyDelete